What a rough day! Between site planning, moving and attacks trying to rise up, it has certainly been a struggle.
I finally got a quite moment in what seems to be another challenging yet powerful year. I feel so many mixed emotions and I am trying to drown them out along with a whirlwind of other meshing factors.
Trying to stay positive, productive and functional but I am getting a little tired. I hate when everything else around me grows so much that it makes me feel like I am shrinking down to nothing.
I don’t want to be the “Debbie Downer” but doubt comes so strong to overpower any inkling of mustard seed faith I may have. The small thing should be the driver to get me through. To try to pass through all the hurdles, curves and distractions of life. But it gets rough.
Good day..good day…good day… here comes a BIG bad day. And the knot at my throat grows too and the tears of frustration start rolling down. After every victory there appears 10 more valleys!!!
So what am I going to do… right now I am going to sit back, shut down and shut up. I’m going to have to settle a bit more inside so I can gather up the strength to use where it will be most necessary. I can’t win every battle and every fight but I can still run in the race. Doesn’t always promise a win–but a finish–THAT’S A PROMISE!
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:1-2
Because I started to take such huge leaps of faith for ’18 it feels like massive heaps of doubt is trying to overtake me.
What will I do now?
I am going to drown out the doubt.
I am going to drown out the negativity.
I am going to shut my ears to discouraging words.
I am going to close my eyes on gruesome stares.
I am going to drown out the lies with the truth of God’s word!
I am going to look away, walk away and back away from all the antagonistic voices that are trying to shout over my victory and progress. I am in a good place. I am better. I can do more. I can obtain it. I choose to believe GOD and not the faces or doubting voices!
Then when the victory comes again–I will have escaped from the depths of these valleys and moved on to an even place. A God place. All because I know it was the Spirit of God prompting me to take the huge steps of faith!
Watch it work Christina! Watch God work!!!!!
It’s time to let go so God can do the rest. Another huge leap of faith! Let’s go!