What If I Told

“But now, thus says the LORD, who created you, O Jacob, And He who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, Nor shall the flame scorch you.”
Isaiah 43:1-2 NKJV

What if I told you as a publishing author of two amazing collections, I am afraid to share?

What If I told you that I am afraid to speak?

What if I told you that I think of myself as so insignificant?

That even after having 27 years of professional experience, Bachelors degree, awards and other accomplishments that I felt like I still have nothing going for me?

What if I told you that I felt so much less every single time I try to take a step forward in the right direction?

What if I told you I felt sad these days?

What if I told you I felt so alone these days?

What if I told you I felt like no one really cared?

What If I told you I felt like I had no support?

What if I told you I felt like the man at the pool of Bethesda?

Or the woman at the well?

Or the man with leprosy?

How about the woman with the issue if blood?

What if I told you most days I just felt so numb?

I don’t want to feel that way anymore when I know that those things are primarily lies in my head!

I know that! But the feelings, the moments, the opposition, the challenges, the fear, the fight… the cost… it really is too great. I also know that most of this will be like a moment.

43 years later, I can tell you these moments are a lifetime. It is such a journey for me. And if it had not been but the Lord, just as the psalmist declared, I just don’t know where I’d really be.

Through everything He is with me.

Through valleys.

Through darkness.

Through loss.

Through defeat.

Through rejection.

Through failure…. ah He is with me in this place.

Reminding me of the very opposite of my war within. That war in my soul. How great that war is when I walk through what I walk through. That even after releasing, “Rise Above Adversity” that I would find myself caught in another whirlwind of great adversity.

What can I do?

What will I do?

What if I also told you, that no matter how low I go or how deep the valleys get that I will STILL do what I know He has called me to do!

“But there are so many authors!!!!”

“Yeah but none that I know like you!”

“But I am at a loss!”

Yeah but you can try this now!”

This is an opportunity for other things to work. I am not gonna quit! Not now! Not ever! My no right now is only a PAUSE! Another push to rest in the very presence of God! To know that even through this, He is with me.

“No doesn’t mean that you stop; it simply means that you change course in order to make it to your destination.” Rachel Hollis (Girl, Wash Your Face)

Things are going to work in my favor. I am more than a conqueror and will have everlasting victory!

What if I told the real authentic story

If I just be who God called me to be.

If you just be all that you are in Christ.

What if I told you and I….

That we just gotta keep trusting the Lord!

Because He is always on our side. ♥️

“Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.”
Psalm 23:4 NIV

“I lift up my eyes to the mountains— where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip— he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord watches over you— the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.”
Psalm 121:1-8 NIV

““If it had not been the LORD who was on our side,” Let Israel now say— “If it had not been the LORD who was on our side, When men rose up against us, Then they would have swallowed us alive, When their wrath was kindled against us; Then the waters would have overwhelmed us, The stream would have gone over our soul; Then the swollen waters Would have gone over our soul.” Blessed be the LORD, Who has not given us as prey to their teeth. Our soul has escaped as a bird from the snare of the fowlers; The snare is broken, and we have escaped. Our help is in the name of the LORD, Who made heaven and earth.”
Psalms 124:1-8 NKJV

Blessings to all that are viewing this. My name is Christina Cruz-Mendez. I am a Pastor at Mission United International Church in Yonkers, NY working along side my husband Juan A. Mendez Jr. Senior Pastor. We have been together for 25 years with 2 children that God has blessed us with. Makes us the family of four - "JusChrist4". I have been a Christian and active in ministry for about 17 years now. Through all the rocky and smooth roads in life I am eternally grateful that God has brought me this far in life to share with the world what He is doing in me, through me and for me.

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