Do you ever have those moments truly–can I just be honest for a few, when nothing works!
Reading doesn’t work;
Writing doesn’t work;
Crying doesn’t work;
Fasting doesn’t work;
All the prayer in the world from you and others over you… still don’t work.

That’s when you just have to GO THROUGH IT!

I am sure a few of us like me just had to “just go through it….”

Why else would He write down plain for us, WHEN YOU GO….

When you go through deep waters,
    I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty,
    you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression,
    you will not be burned up;
    the flames will not consume you.
Isaiah 43: 2 NLT

So this clearly tells us–there will be moments in life when nothing works. You just gotta go through it.  It is deep, it is difficult, it is oppression–but we won’t be consumed by it. Only because God is with us and He cannot be consumed. God is Sovereign.  He is sovereign over our situation.  He is sovereign over our darkness. He is sovereign over pain and any of our problems.

Just ride it out. Wing it. Do it. Go through. Eventually all will pass and we move onto the next thing of life so quickly.  What are we going to do reacting to something we cannot change?

It’s only for a moment.

Therefore we do not become discouraged [spiritless, disappointed, or afraid]. Though our outer self is [progressively] wasting away, yet our inner self is being [progressively] renewed day by day. For our momentary, light distress [this passing trouble] is producing for us an eternal weight of glory [a fullness] beyond all measure [surpassing all comparisons, a transcendent splendor and an endless blessedness]!
2 Corinthians 4:16-17

This is actually producing for us. This is giving us our own personal powerful purpose in God that is specific to us.  Everything will fall into place and everything will eventually make sense. Even if it doesn’t now, it will…

Maybe you are still asking why the sudden loss? The job, the person, the finances, the relationships, the credibility, the peace, the joy, the love…. sometimes in one fell swoop we are down to nothing. This is where we have to dig deep beyond our torn emotional realm to tap into the spiritual realm where there is plenty to carry us through.

As I am just coming back from a life changing retreat in the very presence of God, the attacks, blows and punches of life are still coming my way. Every day things will hurt a lot less as I keep pressing in that spiritual realm. God knows all things and made me unique.  He loves me beyond measure and beyond anything on this earth. He will uplift me for all the world to see –that when nothing else worked, He did just fine. He never left me. Even through my own madness. I love that about God.

When all else has fallen or failed, He is the one that will always remain. So let’s just be still. Let’s press to keep our soul calm. Sometimes saying nothing works wonders. You didn’t get it, well God will give it to you. You weren’t thought of, well God is thinking of you always. He will give you the BEST things for your life. He loves to work on a ground that seems useless. This is where pure power is displayed.

With love,
Christina ❤

Blessings to all… Just wanted to share a blog that was written by one of my spiritual daughters in the kingdom –Kristen Rabadi. May God continue to give you a grace to write words of encouragement! With Love, CCM

It is not that I do not want to speak or share but realizing in the interests of many, sometimes I become so intimidated I fall in the place of silence.  I then rather not speak so often. But isn’t that how most of us are? We continue to give life to a situation leaning toward negativity. It becomes toxic.

I am leaning towards whatever happened in the past, God used it to put an expiration date on it. A huge lesson learned, for even in our moments of weakness He intervenes and we all know why.  Most importantly, where our place really needs to be.

Most of our thoughts need to be cancelled out immediately and not shared.  The fact that I am walking through a process of ruminating becomes frustrating to ME more than anyone else.  The one effected by this is ME more than anyone else. I need to be well, get well and stay well. I do apologize for ever upsetting others and even myself in moments of madness. I can acknowledge that it is not always our intentions but that it still tends to happen. However one may see it–in most cases feelings are always going to present. I wish that was not the case but in that aspect it is! This is exactly where we must push through in our prayer time and in our walk that God has for us.

I had to battle through a lot of thoughts. Less of this and less of that. It is not fair to fight this way. It is not fair to me. Most times I feel like less of a woman in those moments. Less wanted. Less influential. Less impactful. Always pushed aside by many–history repeating itself and finding myself alone most days. But that is my own personal battle.  In this state, there are no words to appease any of that.

I know where I stand. I know what it is for me to have to move forward. It is a painful place. But one I must learn to endure.  Rejection in anyway can certainly be protection. But it still FEELS like rejection. This is a very familiar place that sucks so bad. I remember moments where I would get so dressed up on the outside– I did everything to beautify myself. But inside I would be such a mess. Crying inside where no one can see or hear. These days then became the worst days of my life that press on my mind.

I THOUGHT I looked beautiful…felt that way for a moment. I thought this would help.  I thought this would make me drown out what was really happening on the inside of me. But then the reality would hit. No matter how much work I had to put in to be beautiful, people still went on about their ways and I would still be in that position where I felt so unloved and unimportant. That is the largest dagger to my soul. I don’t want to be in that place again.

It sucks but you know what—I know that I am going to find peace in my own version of ugly, in my brokenness (AGAIN), in my pit, and in my own war that was superbly created for me. Rejection is always going to race around me.  Now I got to learn how to push past all this and really….. REALLY be more mindful of that glaring truth. Many will abandon us but never God.  Many will not love us but never God. Many will reject us but never God. He is only redirecting us! All these “RE’s” I am finding myself in. And I heard screaming in my soul RE-calibrating you… RE-setting you! I’m like, “Wow AGAIN LORD!” I have to seek Him in these moments of violent warfare.  Here is the RE—it means preposition, in the matter to introduce again and again and again! Until we get it…the part that is continuous is that part that is necessary for us to become the EXPERT!!!!!!!!!! So now we have RE-demption! We have reconciliation. We have renewal, restoration and recovery!

He is recalibrating me! Resetting me.

I have to think now that I have been rebuilt for battle!

I will find rest somehow in the battles! And when it is time to rise up then I rise again! I can’t stay down.  I can’t stay silent.  I can’t stay the victim! I am the victor! I have overcome! These thorns are ways for God to increase and present His strength! That will be my place of peace. So when I pray in my madness–He will sit with me there too, until I rise again. He is recalibrating me. Again and again. I have to love His persistent effort over my life. I must be important to Him indeed!

They won’t rise, until I rise!

Villagers in Israel would not fight;
they held back until I, Deborah, arose,
until I arose, a mother in Israel.
Judges 5:7

I know it has been such a while since I have written a thing. When I first began this website, the idea was to try to write daily. Over time that began to dwindle as I had to juggle more responsibilities in my life but that is no excuse for me.  Make no mistake, I know that God gave me this urgency to write.

As I went through journal after journal this weekend I thought this is so many books but also a pattern.  A pattern of pain, discomfort, upset, frustration, depression, disappointment, discouragement and the like.  Also there were uplifting words to help me push through. Such a back and forth sick cycle of a torn emotional realm. That is the soul. But the soul can grow!

To grow is to increase by natural development, as any living organism or part by assimilation of nutriment; increase in size or substance; to arise or issue as a natural development from an original happening, circumstance, or source.

We should go from glory to glory and in this will be some sort of suffering to teach us just that.

“The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him. For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God.”
Romans 8:17-21

I know that in order for me to grow and experience the glory of God I have to go through many tough times. That is a part of life. I am not alone. It is not just me. I am not my own special case of issues. It simply happens to all. Especially to those that have a high calling in God. They will have to share in suffering. But with the things that He shall reveal to us as his children and for what is to come–we should rejoice.  Our focus must live on what is to come.

Hello World–
If you change your thoughts and you will change your world. If your soul can heal, so can your world.  It is time for us to go through our growing process.  Strive with God and be blessed in every area.  It is possible. May God allow you to experience a new wave of His glory and a new wave of peace through any pain you may be facing today.

With Love,

Christina