Welcome

Lord help me this day – it’s a new day. I hope that I can maximize and make the most of it. I have to confess that good things are coming my way. I am optimistic. I have to appreciate life and embrace the seasons of change. Everything is going to work itself out because You are in the midst. I want to be fruitful and better at doing things. Be my encourager. My rock and fortress. Be the One to uplift me through times of uncertainty. Be the advocate that I need to have things work on my behalf. More than behind the scenes. You are in it all. I trust You. I trust what You are doing. If there is anything for me to do this day —is to plan my days right. I will rest, read, relax when I can but make sure that I keep things on target and in order here.

Yesterday in the presence it was amazing.  What an experience.  I was wrecked.  Your presence and peace just rocked me. Your Word hit deep and I needed that affirmation.  I needed that Word to sit on my heart as heavy as it did.  I had a dream that there would be a turnaround.  I waited all week and nothing happened externally.  When Sunday came as I had wept buckets and pools of water in my dream –that is when it happened. 

I stood at the calling to bask in the glory of God. I wanted this touch. I stood in my spot with no one touching me and not knowing who was watching me. I felt my whole core being rocked and I could not hold it back. I wept. I just wept and wept. I stood there for a good while and knew there was one thing that I needed more than anything else –apart from relationships, finances, prestige or career. I needed to be with You as my priority and focus. I want You more than I want “this”. Help me to get rid of all the veils so that I can experience Your Glory. I am glad You brought me there. I am going back.

I am looking forward to next week’s service. I am looking forward to CHANGE and transition internally.

Most importantly I am looking forward to watching You do what You to best and that is my peace.

You are removing the veils in my life and that is fine.

Send me Your light and Your faithful care, let them lead me; Let them bring me to Your holy mountain, to the place where You dwell. Then I will go to the altar of God, to God, my joy and my delight. I will praise You with the lyre, O God, my God.
Psalm 43:3-4

So what about you Christina? What’s going on with you? You been so quiet.

That is what I got today and I am. I feel like a blank page sometimes. Not knowing all the answers. Contemplative. Deep in thought as per. Wondering what’s next and simply trusting God. I love that I am here but it has been the first time in a while that I felt a hole in my heart.

We need to shine so bright that when we are no longer there that absence is felt.

My daughter came up to finally visit us for the first time since we moved here and I can freely say that.
Her and her husband joined us for the first week of spring and it was amazing. I worked still but every other opportunity was spent with them enjoying every laugh and every moment that we could maximize.

You can do so much in 7 days and how quickly they go by. Once they left I drove away with such a hollowness. Even in the most loveliest place I find myself now, I felt the absence. It was a familiar feeling, especially when I think of precious time spent with loved ones. I know these feelings have to be managed properly so I don’t go way off into a dark place but I do miss them a lot.

I know God has a purpose for all things and what I truly need to do is pursue the One that has the ultimate plan for our lives. I have the time now. I am scared. I am nervous. I am thinking a lot of what and how to do things but I am going to embrace each day and make the most of it just like I did when the kids were down here. I am going to continue exercising at my pace. I am going to cook creative and healthy meals. I am going to read, write and pray daily. I am going to work productively and on these terms.

What about you Christina? As I said, I don’t know all the answers but what I do know is that He has given me grace sufficient for this day and will continue to do just that. I can’t be anxious. I can’t make something up. I can’t go on a rampant thinking anything less of where I am or where I am going. This is actually the best place I have ever been at in a long, long time.

I just know that God’s got me. Yesterday, today and tomorrow. That’s my peace. That’s what I am about.

“So don’t be anxious about tomorrow. God will take care of your tomorrow too. Live one day at a time.”
Matthew 6:24 TLB

Hey All! Happy to say that settling in the new castle and territory has been a behemoth of itself! Like WOW! Who would have thought that transitioning and moving would take its toll. So wonderful and tiring all at the same time. I had never been so busy in all my life, worked up and inner rested if that makes any sense. It’s just so peaceful to know this is MINE! This is OURS! This is what God gave me and its so doggone beautiful!

Like how long has it been since I slept with a smile on my face! OMG if you only knew the sleepless nights we have had. Those sleepless nights! My heart is so full. I am so grateful and I would have never known how awesome this feeling is until now.

Friday night I did some more organizing and settling in — hanging a new picture here and adding a trinket there until I got to lie down in my HUGE room with my favorite burgundy Ugg bedding. It was the most peaceful and restful feeling. I just laid there and I cried. Tears of joy. Tears of gratitude. Tears of pure bliss in this moment. I am so thankful to God for making this way.

It wasn’t easy peasy! NO! Not at all… it was a fight just like everything else in life is when you want something so bad. You have to believe God. You have to trust Him. You have to WAIT! And when you get there to that moment and He opens up that door — how sweet that is. Because it was WORTH IT ALL! It was worth the fight. It was worth all the sleepless nights. It was worth the work we had to put in to get to this place.

I love being an “official” homeowner! I had a house before that was given just to hubby but signing that dotted line to say Christina Cruz-Mendez TOO! Yes! I was so grateful. Because the time finally arrived for me to have ownership and entitlement. God is good. And I will say that I appreciate EVERY season we went through. Because even in our old place God still provided all the time — He showed up and showed off. He helped us, provided for us, gave us favor and grace for that season too.

So it is a smiling season right now. As I type this closing up this month. I enjoyed the move (even though I hurt my knee a bit) LOL! I enjoyed shopping for things that I wanted. I enjoyed decorating this new season too — especially to our liking where we can all reap the benefits. I enjoyed cooking in my new massive kitchen. I enjoyed meeting new neighbors and new friends. Most of all I enjoyed knowing that God is still with me every step of the way still blessing us daily.

More to come here. So in love with this place. ❤
Thank You JESUS!

Blessed be the Lord,
Who daily loads us with benefits,
Psalm 68:19