For My Daddy

Today was a powerful memorial service.  I didn’t get to write this week or on papi’s day because I did have a lot of things on my mind. Work life balance is seriously necessary now in my life. So the words to express during an intimate time like this had to come spontaneously straight from the heart.

I started with this verse. I think it is best to describe the daddy concept I had of Mr. Carlos Cruz, Jr. 61 years of life he had.

I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. This is my command: Love each other.One thing that my big bro Creatan said today that was very impactful was that he would not compromise who he was for anyone. And so he would say the same to anyone. He would find a way to speak something positive in the midst of any situation.
John 15:11-17 NKJV

I’m thankful that it turned out great today. The family and friends there I believe enjoyed every word. They were able to reflect. They were able to remember. They were able to celebrate the life of a man that had the best in a place of simplicity. What a memorial service.

I think what touched me the most is the depth of the words shared.  I think even looking at this scripture of John how it emphasizes on the love of a friendship. A godly connection as Jesus had with His disciples and one that He has with the world. The concept that you would think beyond yourself and see the light of God shining through when you look to give goodness.

Daddy did that. Maybe in some excessive form. But he loved the neighborhood. Yes, he did have many friends. He could exemplify that. If someone would need the shirt off his back or just a good meal–that was him. Life was one big BBQ. It was a place of laughter. It was a place of good soul food. Living and loving family and friends. There would always be a way to celebrate. I will remember him for that. For even in the last days as I begged to be the most selfish one with him during my time there–he honored that.

I wont forget that time I had. That to me was the most memorable thing that he could have ever done for me in all of the time that we had. He gave me a time of peace–just us! ❤ For me he did that…and for my daddy, today I did my best to arrange an opportunity for us to gather around and share those good memories among each other. When you lose someone you love–does God fill the gap? Or in that gap do we know even more that the pain that we feel from the loss can find its way to be repurposed?

I had always prayed to God–fill every crack–every crevice. Don’t leave so much space so that I lose my place here. God you answered that prayer. I know that there are some that will leave that mark with you forever–it is never to take away but it is to demonstrate just how much that love was shown as Jesus described in John 15.

For you, I did that.

For us, He did so much more.