UNCHARTED

There are moments in life when you have ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE—no idea—where you are headed.

You don’t know what comes next.

You’re flying blind, searching for the way.

But these Scriptures just keep coming to me, and I have to believe there is going to be a way that leads to the best outcome for me. I have to believe that God is not going to leave me in a permanent state of misery or turmoil, because He loves me entirely.

Last night was a tough one.

I have these moments when everything seems to mellow out and I feel super happy—like I can conquer the world. And then, almost immediately, I end up falling flat on my face.

This is the constant ebb and flow of my walk these days.

“God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-PRESENT help in trouble.”
— Psalm 46:1

My soul was troubled indeed.

Oh, so troubled.

Because even in the midst of those words, I felt pain.

Pain like never before.

It just keeps surfacing spectacularly, becoming this huge barrier between where I am and what I think is finally the light.

I looked up and just wept.

I wept so deeply. So loudly. So raw.

Just gut-wrenching.

And then:

“Be STRONG and COURAGEOUS.
DO NOT BE AFRAID or DISCOURAGED.
For the Lord your God will be WITH YOU
WHEREVER YOU GO!”
— Joshua 1:9

But God…

I have no idea where the “wherever” is.

And I’m afraid.

I try to remind myself:

I’m not going to feel like I wasted my life.
I’m not going to feel abandoned.
I AM LOVED. SO VERY LOVED.
I’m not going to feel alone.
I’m not going to carry this anger forever.
I’m not going to stay mad.
I’m going to trust You.

But the truth is—

Right now, I am all those things and more.

I am afraid.

Can I just say that?

Can I acknowledge that I trust God and I’m still afraid?

God is our refuge IN TROUBLE. And trouble has a way of awakening fear.

Maybe fear CAN be present and GOD CAN be present at the very same time.

After everything that has shifted in my life, being afraid of what comes next makes sense. Stepping away from what is familiar—even when what is familiar is painful—is terrifying.

Sometimes even peace itself feels unfamiliar after living in utter turmoil for so long.

But I don’t have to figure out my entire future tonight.

I don’t have to know what happens next.

I just have to hold on to what is WRITTEN right in front of me:

“God IS our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.”
— Psalm 46:1

God, I know I’m afraid.

I don’t know what comes next, and I don’t need to pretend that I do.

Be my refuge tonight—and every day forward.

Be my strength when I find absolutely none within myself.

QUIET my mind.

Remind me that wherever this road leads, YOU ARE ALREADY THERE.

Help me trust You one day at a time.

My gentle reminder:

Being afraid does not mean I made the wrong move.

Sometimes courage looks exactly like this:

I was afraid—and I still took the steps toward peace.

I took the steps necessary to surround myself IN God and with the things of God.

I took the steps necessary to ensure that I would be enveloped by positive, godly living.

God, You’re my anchor.

When I felt myself sinking—looking at the waves just as Peter did—I cried out:

“LORD, SAVE ME!”

You’re my anchor.

And You allowed me to be in a place where I can experience just that.

Anchors in the middle of uncharted territory.

Maybe I don’t need a map for everything that comes next.

Maybe I just need an Anchor.

And so my next go-to Scripture is this:

“TRUST in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek His WILL in all you do,
and He WILL show you which path to take.”
— Proverbs 3:5–6 NLT

I don’t know the path yet.

I don’t know where the “wherever” is.

I don’t know what is waiting for me on the other side of all of this.

But I know WHO is already there.

So here I am, God.

Afraid.
Uncertain.
Still healing.
Still trusting.

Standing in UNCHARTED territory…

with this ANCHOR.