Pillow and a Latte

I absolutely love my quiet home time.

People must think I am really a nerd, maybe too quiet…. possibly boring?!?! Lol

I am not sure. But it is so me. I love this. I like hearing nothing but the crickets, birds or outside nature. It’s so peaceful.

So here is what I will share with you in this quiet moment. I hope you can find yours too.

I have been on a spiritual journey a little more deeper because… can I be honest?

There is something in me that I truly dislike that surfaces when I am less than connected to God. I find a whole lot of cruddy things. Such as anger, jealousy, frustration, temptation, emptiness, depression, confusion and so many other things stirring in my mind and in my flesh. Who wants that? We’ll definitely not a saved and sanctified believer.

Here’s what the bible says about that:

So get yourselves ready, prepare your minds to act, control yourselves, and look forward in hope as you focus on the grace that comes when Jesus the Anointed returns and is completely revealed to you. Be like obedient children as you put aside the desires you used to pursue when you didn’t know better. Since the One who called you is holy, be holy in all you do. For the Scripture says, “You are to be holy, for I am holy.” 1 Peter 1:13-16 (VOICE)

So now, my beloved, obey as you have always done, not only when I am with you, but even more so when I can’t be. Continue to work out your salvation, with great fear and trembling, because God is energizing you so that you will desire and do what always pleases Him. Philippians 2:12-13 (VOICE)

I came back from a powerful weekend to find myself in a powerful pity party! That sucks! I can’t keep going with an internal war of battles that I know will never lead me to growth. This means so much. Many unspoken words now gone straight to a sovereign speaking God. That is beautiful! That’s best! Because many times we share things, try things and do things… even if it may be that you are trying to be helpful and it’s not.

It’s a job for God. I know one ☝🏽 thing. I need Him to intervene in my life in every way. I want to stay in communion with my King. I want to stay less out of the mess. I want to live where He wants me. I want to work where He plants me. I want to love who He has given me. I want to eat what He portions for me. I want to write what He shows me. I want to say what He gives me. I want to go where He leads me. I want to do things better. Even if one day is better than the rest, I know progress is chasing me because of this transition.

Three weeks later, I am in a better place. Really. With everything that needs to be here attached to my life. For every other negative thing that tries to attach itself to the womb of my spirit MUST BE ABORTED.

That’s what I found. That’s where I am. I will continue in my quiet time with my pillow and latte still making sure I do the genuine things that matter most. Listen. Learn. Love.

I never thought I had all the answers, so maybe in the silence I will keep learning who I really am and make peace with that. I come with a lot. I am a lot. But it’s only because I know there is a God pushing me to be better. It is all a wonderful lesson of love. A love that lasts longer than a latte. ☕️

I pray that you find yourself too. Encourage yourself to go there. You learn so much in the silence and stillness. These moments that you are alone —are never to cause you pain but to bring you to His presence. A purposeful place we must learn to embrace. A peaceful place of real REST!

Are you ready to please God more. I am ready for that change in me. How about you?

With love,


About Christina

Blessings to all that are viewing this. My name is Christina Cruz-Mendez. I am a Senior Pastor at Mission United International Church in Yonkers, NY working along side my husband Juan A. Mendez Jr. Senior Pastor, currently residing in Canton, Georgia. We have been together for 29 years with 2 children that God has blessed us with. Makes us the family of four - "JusChrist4". I have been a Christian and active in ministry for about 22 years now. Through all the rocky and smooth roads in life I am eternally grateful that God has brought me this far in life to share with the world what He is doing in me, through me and for me. View all posts by Christina

2 responses to “Pillow and a Latte

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