I think this happens to us all. The words or actions of people start to penetrate our soul. They start to penetrate our being and our inner peace! Maybe a “friend” is telling you something that someone else said about you, a person saying something against a dream you have or plans, perhaps a boss breathing down your neck and it starts to aggravate you or just hearing something negative that just throws off your whole day. I started to hear some, “Can I just share something with you….” And it immediately started to disturb me. Then I said to myself, “Let the words of God edify you! Put the words of God in your heart!” and I began to feel better. I quickly shifted the conversation to gently let the person recognize that their own words were not edifying me. We have the power to CANCEL OUR CONVERSATIONS!!! Everyone has an opinion, a word, or something they want to say but if it has no truth, if it is unnecessary or unkind – DON’T LISTEN! Don’t accept that and keep it moving.
How do we start controlling our conversations?
All throughout the day we have to meditate on things that are good, else this will quickly penetrate us and change our mood. If we meditate on good things and what the Word of God tells us then we will certainly have good words come from our mouths. It also teaches how to handle day to day situations and learn how to engage with others appropriately and effectively. Look at what the scriptures have to say about the power of words.
Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. Philippians 4:8
Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful; But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night. He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, whose leaf also shall not wither; and whatever he does shall prosper. Psalm 1:1-3
Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad. Proverbs 12:25
But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter from the same opening? Can a fig tree, my brethren, bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Thus no spring yields both salt water and fresh. James 3:8-12
Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one. Colossians 4:6
You can see how words penetrate the hearts of people. We need to be careful what we speak and practice often that our words be seasoned with salt and just right for the hearer. This takes practice, time and patience to hold back all the thoughts that funnel through our minds. The person thinks on an average of 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts per day. Imagine if we shouted everything out at every moment, how chaotic that would be. But when we do shout the words that bring no edification – it brings the mess. It brings the sorrow and it makes us downcast.
What do I do when words hurt?
Refuse to listen! Don’t listen to words that hinder your growth or your productivity. You wont hurt anybody by disengaging from unhealthy discussions but you will hurt yourself if you listen! Say kindly, “I found the words that you shared with me to be a bit offensive to me. Perhaps I am not understanding what you are trying to share with me or perhaps you should not come off so strong.” Or maybe they start speaking negatively about what you are doing or something you believe in. You don’t have to give people permission to say all that they want to you. Even if it is someone you love. Share your concern and end it nicely.
If you feel your boss or someone at the work place talking down to you – don’t be afraid to voice you concern quickly and kindly. There are common laws at the work place that speak to this and just because someone could be in a higher position than you, that does not give them the right to mistreat you with their words. Explain how their tone or something they said to you made you feel uncomfortable. When you speak things in a soft approach instead of taking it all in or firing back you put yourself in a better place. Imagine – if you don’t correct this behavior they will continue this with others.
If someone comes to speak to you about someone else you can simply say, “I’m sorry but I don’t think we should be talking about that person without them being present here. I feel a little uncomfortable about that. Would you mind holding those thoughts.” We have to learn to practice words that will uplift. Even hearing someone say what others think of you that may not be positive. Refuse to listen. The ball is in your court – make the shot! Make the call! Just be nice about it. Pray about it. Seek the Words that God shares with you through the bible instead of only focusing on the words of men. Those words cease but the Word of the Lord endures for ever – His Words are eternal as it says in Psalm 119.
Often times, I experience this in life where I start feeling down because of words that are being told to me. Sometimes I don’t respond as fast and then reap the repercussions of that. It will take just as long to bounce back if I give attention to negativity or meditate on something shared that was not good for me. Then I find the courage in me and I share a word with the person to kindly let them know they are creating an unnecessary negativity. For the most part, the words are received and I feel positive by taking that action. Other times, I just go to the Word and find the perfect passages to lift up my spirit.
So I don’t know what words you are listening to today. Even if you are speaking to yourself or others. Make sure that they are positive–so that your mood is positive! Speak life – don’t cause strife. Words are powerful. They can bring death or they can bring life – but we choose the ones we want to use or receive – Proverbs 18:21. So next time you find yourself in this situation – ask yourself, “Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind?” Then make that judgement call. You decide.
Put the words of God in your heart. ❤