The pages that are never seen are the ones that become the most powerful answered prayer. It is that moment that all you can say in your soul is, “Yes! God you see me, hear me, acknowledge me and move me in every way.” It is greater than any other affirmation or confirmation. It is your moment KNOWING…. God is with me.
I read my last devotional over coffee in the a.m. which stated the following:
Every morning when you awake, I’m there beside you. I hear you and I have mercy on you at all times: when you’re weak and when you’re strong. I hear you. I know when your bones ache and your energy wanes. I know when you laugh wildly and when your pillow is wet with tears. I see you in triumph and in defeat. Never doubt Me. I’m your miracle, your trophy, your fortune, and your strength. I’m the fuel and hope you need, dear one, not the world.
“Walk With Me Jesus, Daily Words of Hope & Encouragement” by Marie Chapian
I take immediate comfort. You always find that perfect book for the perfect season, the right word at the most needed moments. Sometimes, yes, I feel like a lost little girl, one wandering in the dark. One that needs a little love and acceptance. A hug, an affirmation, an acknowledgement of some sort.
“You’re okay. It’s okay.”
This worries me. But so many times I come back to this place and end up deeply reflecting. I’m going to finish this “End of Me” by Kyle Idleman. 🙂 It goes so much in line with my first book. It speaks about a painful process. Talks about life and coming back to this “death”. Then I read, “it’s okay to be me.”
What is me?
Is that such a flawed me?
A weak me?
What I am seeking is here all along and it is me all alone. It is my time of peace. Because then it hurts. It sucks to be me when in solitude. Around the many, when I can feel so insignificant. I can cry a lot still. I carry a lot of pain and the one can see never could. I felt it everywhere.
Tears always streaming down my face and down my soul. A deep place where those tears were never seen. My enemy can see and send a hurtful hug when what I need is a healing hug.
Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
For I will yet praise Him,
My Savior and my God.
Psalm 43:5 (New International Version)
I continued to the place of our Resurrection Sunday service. What an amazing day to be in the house of the Lord. My best days are Sunday’s! The word is going forth and all throughout the service God is with me. He makes me smile, laugh, love and live. I know that He has risen so that we can live a risen life.
Just like John 10:10 says…. But what is the enemy trying to take?!?
To steal my joy, to kill my faith and to destroy my hope!!!! WOW! God speaks!
He said, “LITTLE GIRL (who else knew I wrote little girl in my journal today) I TELL YOU TO RISE UP! Arise!”
I cried again. Only GOD!
Because that is when I know because He lives, I live!
I know that because He rose again, I hope again.
I know because He pushed through the tomb, I no longer have one.
I thank God…why? Because He sees me, hears me, acknowledges me and moves me into the deepest place of intimacy that I could possibly imagine. He has my heart. He has it all, for sure. I am alive because He is alive in me!
He took her by the hand and said to her, “Talitha koum!”
(which means “Little girl, I say to you, get up!”
Mark 5:41 (New International Version)
Today, I got up again. ❤ What a resurrection Sunday!