What a rough day! Between site planning, moving and attacks trying to rise up, it has certainly been a struggle.

I finally got a quite moment in what seems to be another challenging yet powerful year. I feel so many mixed emotions and I am trying to drown them out along with a whirlwind of other meshing factors.

Trying to stay positive, productive and functional but I am getting a little tired. I hate when everything else around me grows so much that it makes me feel like I am shrinking down to nothing.

I don’t want to be the “Debbie Downer” but doubt comes so strong to overpower any inkling of mustard seed faith I may have. The small thing should be the driver to get me through.  To try to pass through all the hurdles, curves and distractions of life. But it gets rough.

Good day..good day…good day… here comes a BIG bad day. And the knot at my throat grows too and the tears of frustration start rolling down. After every victory there appears 10 more valleys!!!

So what am I going to do… right now I am going to sit back, shut down and shut up.  I’m going to have to settle a bit more inside so I can gather up the strength to use where it will be most necessary.  I can’t win every battle and every fight but I can still run in the race. Doesn’t always promise a win–but a finish–THAT’S A PROMISE!

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”  Hebrews 12:1-2

Because I started to take such huge leaps of faith for ’18 it feels like massive heaps of doubt is trying to overtake me.

What will I do now?

I am going to drown out the doubt.

I am going to drown out the negativity.

I am going to shut my ears to discouraging words.

I am going to close my eyes on gruesome stares.

I am going to drown out the lies with the truth of God’s word!

I am going to look away, walk away and back away from all the antagonistic voices that are trying to shout over my victory and progress. I am in a good place. I am better. I can do more.  I can obtain it.  I choose to believe GOD and not the faces or doubting voices!

Then when the victory comes again–I will have escaped from the depths of these valleys and moved on to an even place. A God place.  All because I know it was the Spirit of God prompting me to take the huge steps of faith!

Watch it work Christina! Watch God work!!!!!

It’s time to let go so God can do the rest. Another huge leap of faith! Let’s go!

It’s all about RENEWING!

RESTORING!

REBUILDING!

It is time to cast (throw using force) your cares on Me says God.

I know you are afraid but do not be afraid. I will work all things out for you.

Trust Me.

Believe Me.

Watch Me.

It’s normal for fear to rise up. It’s normal for doubt to rise up and confusion to question My voice.

Don’t be afraid, as I told the Israelites. Walk through the waters that I part for you. Initially it’s shallow then gets deeper and deeper. But as you look you will find that I paved the way just for you. Just get to the other side. It becomes shallow again.

I know this doesn’t make sense.

I know the enemy is always chasing after you but FEAR NOT, for he cannot hurt what I protect. He cannot shake what I keep.

If I ordain it then be sure that I will ALWAYS sustain it. Don’t fret because that will only cause you harm (Psalm 37) but trust Me. Trust Me in all things. I follow through. Seek Me and you shall find Me.

Stand firm and stand in My Word. It works! Just keep looking at that…. My Word. Keep listening for that… My still small voice.

“Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”” Exodus 14:13-14 NIV

And so God says it!

What God ordains, He will sustain.

Be at peace.

You know the more I think about this the more I think the one thing I’m quitting at is to do better. I feel like I’m quitting at the potential that I know I have in me is built for more.

Does that make sense???

Why do I feel like I keep resulting to settle?

I settled with this weight!

I settled with this job!

I settled with the place where I’m at in ministry!

I’m settling in life for what everyone else wants me to do first and never consider my own needs!

Like aren’t we important too? I know we have this die to self emphasis as Christians and I do that… but when will I die to complacency? What about die to settle? Refuse to sink? Refuse to living with all these insecurities and doubts when I have potential??

“What a shame it would be for the enemy to believe more about our potential than we do.”

Holley Gerth, Fiercehearted 21 Day Devotional

I don’t want to keep doubting myself. This feels awful! I know there is more and I know if I am continuously grieving over my situation then I know that I have an option to change it!

Why am I settling???

I’m not a quitter! But there’s one thing I wanna quit…. COMPLACENCY! There is so much more! If it can happen for others surely it can happen for me too. I’m gonna be a little more intentional about moving forward in faith to do BETTER! To enjoy my days. To enjoy the work that I do daily. To enjoy my health. To enjoy the relationships that I have around me. There is so much more!

This is definitely on my prayer list! Maybe yours too?

Lord, help us break past this spirit of sluggishness and disbelief! Let us QUIT COMPLACENCY immediately and make aggressive steps at better days!

As Bishop Noel Jones preached, “There is something that is going to happen that will negate what you are dealing with right now!”

There’s more! There’s HOPE! Apart from that, I have to quit at what keeps me complacent!

The Word:

“The pain that you’ve been feeling, can’t compare to the joy that’s coming.” Romans 8:18.

“Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.”

‭‭Romans‬ ‭12:12‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
Luke 6:38

God wants to shower us! He wants us excited! As we give and sow seeds for what is to come we are going to reap a harvest that is pressed down, shaken together and running over us.  Everything He has can be available to us according to our faith. We believe God and we wait for it. Surely it will happen.

This morning I was impressed in prayer to believe God for building property.  That surely it is ours to come.  A place of fellowship that can be solely dedicated to Him.  I see a bright and beautiful alter. Musicians there with their equipment already set up. An amazing wooden pulpit ready for the notes to unleash.  I see lights all around and a message as you open the door for MUI Church.  Just like you see on Pinterest. I am pinning it in my mind! I am preparing. The same way there are baby showers to receive an abundance of gifts because the baby is going to arrive–that is the same way we will do for our buildings.

Our buildings will have study shops like Starbucks. A place where people can come, study and fellowship.  There will be bookstores and other shops.  There will be intimate prayer rooms. There will be offices for the huge staff that will be dedicated to MUI.  There will be a large sanctuary with layers…bottom floor, mid floor and upper floor. There will be nurseries and classrooms for the kids, youth and adult ministries. Beautiful carpeting all around the rooms except in the halls. Flat screens all around with notes and inspirational material.

Why wait until it happens to get the stuff.  If He is going to shower us then we need to have a building shower. We are preparing for the “baby” so let’s plan the shower this year for building ownership! I’M REGISTERED TO HIS PRECIOUS PROMISES WHICH ARE YES & AMEN! 

I see it–feel it–and am expectant!

Then he touched their eyes and said, “According to your faith let it be done to you.”
Matthew 9:29