I know it has been such a while since I have written a thing. When I first began this website, the idea was to try to write daily. Over time that began to dwindle as I had to juggle more responsibilities in my life but that is no excuse for me.  Make no mistake, I know that God gave me this urgency to write.

As I went through journal after journal this weekend I thought this is so many books but also a pattern.  A pattern of pain, discomfort, upset, frustration, depression, disappointment, discouragement and the like.  Also there were uplifting words to help me push through. Such a back and forth sick cycle of a torn emotional realm. That is the soul. But the soul can grow!

To grow is to increase by natural development, as any living organism or part by assimilation of nutriment; increase in size or substance; to arise or issue as a natural development from an original happening, circumstance, or source.

We should go from glory to glory and in this will be some sort of suffering to teach us just that.

“The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him. For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God.”
Romans 8:17-21

I know that in order for me to grow and experience the glory of God I have to go through many tough times. That is a part of life. I am not alone. It is not just me. I am not my own special case of issues. It simply happens to all. Especially to those that have a high calling in God. They will have to share in suffering. But with the things that He shall reveal to us as his children and for what is to come–we should rejoice.  Our focus must live on what is to come.

Hello World–
If you change your thoughts and you will change your world. If your soul can heal, so can your world.  It is time for us to go through our growing process.  Strive with God and be blessed in every area.  It is possible. May God allow you to experience a new wave of His glory and a new wave of peace through any pain you may be facing today.

With Love,

Christina

Sometimes we may not always be able to articulate what is going through a cluttered mind. You just don’t realize how fierce the battle is. It is so violent, so heavy and it floods you until you become completely overwhelmed.  You start to sink into the mire.

I thank God that there are so many heroes in the bible that had to have their own personal horror stories on BLAST FOR LIFE! Like–even past his death we are still speaking of the ups and downs of a KING named David.  A leader! A guide! A pioneer of faith.

How many times do we recall how flawed the great Apostle Peter was during his own training days beside the King of all kings.  Talk about having the best training ever and still mess up horribly.

Apostle Paul ran churches in every season yet is remembered for his violent temper before and after his days of Christianity.

They are flawed.

I’m flawed.

Like pretty bad.

I can find myself in a state of distress just like David was before becoming king. To top it all off God sent him 400 more stressed out men to complicate the matter– “NOW LEAD THAT WAY!”  I’m gonna start you up right here! Right in the cave of darkness.

Really???

Even in trying to saturate my mind with the Word of God–the flaws just become so obvious when you are next to the rest.  But maybe–just maybe–if we look upon all these written mishaps we will understand just how much they are flawed as you. We are all flawed.

So–God sent His flawless Son to cover all those flaws FOREVER!!!

Every time I want to get better at a thing it looks like I become worse at the thing!

I’m gonna be a better wife! A better mom! A better friend! A better pastor! A better workout routine…all these betters and it actually becomes worse.

LORD HELP! Just help! Because all of this can be so aggravating to the soul.

What do I do?

Just start again Chris…. start again. You got another opportunity to try it again.  No matter how far you think you have fallen, gone off course (mentally, physically or spiritually) just try it again.  The greater the loss–the greater the victory!

I think many times I don’t even know what to do with my complicated self.  I often get– “leaving you alone”. It is so scary. BUT GOD! Thank God that He never tells us–I am leaving you alone.  Even in the most silent times, His presence is there to carry us right through the storms of life.  Through the storms of our mind. Through any warfare.  He will never leave us or forsake us.

So I apologize for being overly complicated. It’s not anyone’s job to fix that. It is my job to recognize that in His Presence I will find the fullness of JOY.  I will come up for air and be able to breathe again after my energy is spent laboring away in a bed of anguish.

“Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while,
so that we can see life with a clearer view again.”
Alex Tan

Find comfort in His Word, when you go through times like this. He says he will cover you in the wilderness.  He will clothe you in the valley. So when I find even my own mind a wilderness and a valley  –He is going to cover me and bring me to a place where I will rejoice on every side of the madness that is within.

You crown the year with Your goodness,
And Your paths drip with abundance.
They drop on the pastures of the wilderness,
And the little hills rejoice on every side.
The pastures are clothed with flocks;
The valleys also are covered with grain;
They shout for joy, they also sing.
Psalm 65:11-13

I used to feel like my own mighty warrior when I passed through certain battles.  Through much pain, scars, tears and rebuilds –I always found a path for me.  Any battle we face that was worth such effort there is no way to come out without a scar.  For even the greatest warriors have wounds.  There is EVIDENCE of a fight–there is evidence that they had to put MIGHT into the FIGHT! But there is nothing like God’s might against our might.

The bible instructs us that we have to put on the armor of God.  The detail of how is clearly listed all throughout Ephesians 6.  However, there is this verse that stands out which reads in the New King James Version, “Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.” So I often repeat this to myself when I face opposition of any sort:

“Be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.”
“Be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.”
“Be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.” Continue reading

A certain walk,
A certain smile,
A certain peace,
A certain joy,
She’ll stand by her King,
JusChrist first & foremost.
Then by the one on earth?
Pave the way through prayers,
Press through work,
Portion what she can,
Bravery becomes her,
Pressure encourages her,
Humility is her familiarity,
Always a game changer,
Breaking through any barriers.
Unlike the pretty,
Nothing like the beautiful,
The only bold she has–
Is allotted by the one who called her… the Queens Walk.
She will have her own footprints 👣 in this life and the next.
Eternity is at the door.
What better kind of walk one could find as royalty.

Proverbs 31:10-31 (Recovery Translation)
Who can find a worthy woman? For her price is far above jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil All the days of her life.
She seeks wool and flax, And delights to work with her hands.
She is like the merchant ships; She brings her food from afar.
She rises also while it is still night And gives food to her household, And their task to her serving girls.
She considers a field and buys it; With the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
She girds her loins with strength And makes strong her arms.
She samples her merchandise to be sure it is good; Her lamp does not go out by night.
She lays her hands to the distaff, And her hands hold on to the spindle.
She stretches out her hand to the afflicted, And she reaches out her hands to the needy.
She does not fear for her household when it snows, For all her household are clothed with scarlet.
She makes coverings for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them And delivers girdles to the merchant.
Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she happily looks forward to the time to come.
She opens her mouth with wisdom, And the law of kindness is on her tongue.
She watches closely over the ways of her household And does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
Many daughters have done worthily, But you surpass them all.
Grace is deceitful, and beauty is vain; But a woman who fears Jehovah, she will be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands, And let her works praise her in the gates.

London 2017