Dear Antonio Juan Mendez! This day I mustered up the words that were so difficult to articulate! I will never say goodbye! I will say I love you my brother all the time! Such a GIANT in everything!!! Because of you I’m going to live a little more; because of you I’m going to laugh a little more because of you; I’m going to love a little more.
I’ve always seen those three together “live, love and laugh” and I can realize and understand this day that you did that! In your 35 years… you truly lived it 100 fold. Every day you had — you seized it! For none was wasted! It’s like you said even in your “bad” days you made sure you were the baddest! And I love that about you.
You accomplished in 1/3 of a life span what others could never accomplish over triple that time. Often myself, stood in awe like HOW, WHY…. what is so different? But this week has brought me a TOTAL understanding of that. Because GOD IS GOD and He numbers our days. So now we know in completion that God accelerated you above the rest because He wanted to TAKE YOU TO BE WITH HIM just like Enoch! Because you walked so closely with God and were his loving worshiper!!!
He prophesied over you and your legacy. It came to pass!!! You planted! You went international! You have a beautiful family, home and church!!! You preached like crazy! Taught! Equipped your family, your friends and your church! You helped to save the lives God showed you to and then God knew!!!
He knew He needed to take you.
He knew it was gonna be like that.
So He put you in a deep sleep! It’s so unexplainable that we know He took you PRIOR TO THE CRASH! And only your body remained and was damaged… not you!
Not you!!!!
You excelled daily! Your passion blazed across the nations! It is stamped on our hearts! We will never be the same again… not out of sorrow but out of APPRECIATION to the man God made you to be.
Every day you loved your family like crazy!
In your busyness, you made SUBSTANTIAL time for them including them in your authentic, authoritative and audacious world! It was so orchestrated by the Love of God because it was uncommon! Your love for Nelida your beautiful mommy!!!! Your love for Cristina your brave, beautiful and fierce wife! Your love for your amazing children Ezekiel, Isaiah and Ezrabella was evident!!! Your love for Juan was exemplary!!!!! Honorable!!!! He was like your dad and bestest friend in this planet!!! You told him EVERYTHING!!!! Even in a moments call you filled him in!!!!! Cassy and Sammy you loved them more than life too!!! They were your kids!!! They have your humorous, humble and hunting DNA to ACT without thinking!
And us— wow! What can I say! Except that I loved every word that came out of your mouth, the sound of your coughing laughter!!!! We were the greatest siblings on the planet!
I looked up to you! But you looked up to me… WHY!!! I will never know that …. So much so, you selected a wife with the same name!!! It was PERFECT! Just like God wanted!
You lived to the fullest ANT!
You laughed the LOUDEST!!!
You loved more than anyone else in this family and that teaches us! You are the true PIONEER of the Mendez and Montalvo legacy!!!! A huge Kingdom General! Our Gladiator!!!! You even carried others when you needed to be carried yourself!  I wanna do more because of you. And I want to do it right.
Now I know…. your anointing is here, laughter here and so many more tasks that you will see come to fruition!

So God sat you down, called you in the midst of this fast paced world and took you to your new glorious home!

I love you ANTHONY!!!! So much! I know you knew that and cherished that too. I promise to pick up where you left and love the ones you loved so dearly! You will be so proud of me. In His Name.

As a Christian, people relapse.
As a Christian, people go broke.
As a Christian, people lose their minds.
As a Christian, people have affairs.
As a Christian, people fornicate.
As a Christian, people cuss and fuss.
As a Christian, YOU WILL FALL!
BUT AS A CHILD OF GOD THAT HAS BEEN REDEEMED …YOU WILL RISE AGAIN!
YOU WILL CONQUER!
YOU WILL HAVE YOUR TOTAL VICTORY!
IN THIS LIFE AND THE NEXT…
Just like the Gladiator movie scene. 🙂

As a CHRISTIAN we will rise again.
No matter how much sin there is;
There’s MORE grace!!
The presence of God is present to sustain you THROUGH any mess you may make.
He’s a fixer and a deliverer.
You know that.
HE KNOWS THAT.

A righteous man will fall seven times.
Why 7?? Completely messing this entire walk up.
But he GETS back up.
Listen please! Even if its EMBARRASSING!
Even if people know.
So what! God knows too and KNEW first before it hit Facebook, Snapchat and Twitter! But He is sovereign.
And He is what matters most.
And what He will do with your life mess is TURN IT INTO ANOTHER MESSAGE!!!
So just fight.
How? By standing even in the storm.
Even in the dark.
Even in the rain.
And even in the mess.
AND LET THEM SEE IT…
Because when you come out of that, the talkers and stalkers will see that too.
The God in YOU that took you COMPLETELY through!!!!!

“for the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭24:16‬ ‭ESV‬‬

To fall is to drop or descend under the force of gravity, as to a lower place through loss or lack of support; to come or drop down suddenly to a lower position, especially to leave a standing or erect position suddenly, whether voluntarily or not; to become less or lower; become of a lower level, degree, amount, quality, value, number, etc.

The number seven is one of the most significant in the Bible. Scholars say it denotes completeness or perfection. #google

We are imperfect. Our mistakes become a masterpiece of a mess. Total ruins can turn into total victories! In our imperfections we meet perfection– we meet the ROCK when we hit “rock bottom.”

Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior, every single time!

“Now the law came in to increase the trespass,
but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more,”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭5:20‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Dear Pastor’s Wife,

You are not just a wife of a pastor—you are a pastor.

In fact, you have the strongest calling upon your home.

You are necessary.

You are a crown.

You are most excellent in every way as I have designed and prepared you to be

But I got to tell you.

It will not be easy.

I sent my Son—My one and only Son to pave the way.

He left this message and said “IN THIS WORLD YOU WILL HAVE TRIBULATION

BUT BE OF GOOD CHEER…FOR I HAVE OVERCOME THE WORLD”

There will be many times that you will have to walk alone.

You will have to sit alone.

You will have to engage and even run alone.

But in that alone—I am there beside you and I need you to remember that PLEASE!

Don’t chase people! Attract them!

The ones that need to be a part of your life shall be.

You will see many types of things in your life time—many go and the real ones remain. In your pursuit you will get hurt.

In your patience you will gain strength.

Learn to walk with ME every day.

Learn to talk WITH Me every day.

Learn that I AM YOUR BEST FRIEND, your Father—your Husband—your Lover—I am your Comfort, I am your Strength, your Rock, your Fortress. Putting anything else in place of where I belong will only make you feel the VAST difference immediately—for there is none beside Me.

I also need you to know how important that you are to Me.

How beautiful, how precious.

When I think of you—that is always—I am forever smiling inside.

You make Me move on your behalf.

Because of My deep love for you.

You are already OK.

You are already destined for GREATNESS!

You are living that out.

Parallel to that purpose will be pain—but the POWER that I release to you in the midst of that pain will be your antidote.

You will love great—move great and BE great because I have called you to be the PASTOR’S wife.

I am the SHEPHERD.

I am THE PASTOR—so your calling is being MARRIED TO ME! You are MY wife! So nothing and no one will separate us.

Just do what I tell you to do, go where I show you to go…say what I give you to say because they will be the deepest and the most prophetic pieces of life that must be demonstrated THROUGH YOUR LIFE.

With Agape Love,

Your Father
Your God
I am yours and you are mine.

Sometimes I feel like my life is on auto-lock, just like this iPhone screen. You stare at it for information, updates, news and more. With no activity of under a minute, my screen begins to fade and it goes dark. There is no more light. I can’t see a thing.

On the road that I take this seems to be how life functions for me. There is light but with any idle activity quickly there it will fade into darkness and I can’t see a thing. I know that we need the dark for so many reasons. Most importantly, that we really appreciate when we come to the light. Most cases things go dark for a reason–it strengthens us!  That is why the auto-lock is set to preserve the device so that it can last longer.

I came across this devotional today and it was right on point for my current situation. I do know that I have the spirit of perseverance because I am waiting. I just need to learn how to dance on the dark days.  And when the days get darker–strive to conquer. Time to think like a warrior.

KEEP YOUR EYES ON ME!
Waves of adversity are washing over you, and you feel tempted to give up. As your circumstances consume more and more of your attention, you are losing sight of Me. Yet I am with you always, holding you by your right hand. I am fully aware of your situation, and I will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able to bear.
Your gravest danger is worrying about tomorrow. If you try to carry tomorrow’s burdens today, you will stagger under the load and eventually fall flat. You must discipline yourself to live within the boundaries of today. It is in the present moment that I walk close to you, helping you carry your burdens. Keep your focus on My Presence in the present.
“No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.”  1 CORINTHIANS 10: 13
“Jesus Calling” by Sarah Young  

I feel those waves of adversity–and when I do the waves of tears become uncontrollable. The pangs of pain that I feel in every bone in my body shake the life out of me. Yet the times of night watch prayer are increased. This is where I become still in His presence. This is only a light affliction that will pass by. There is too much to fight for and enough Word in me to see me through. In the back light of these days I will find the One that sustains me.