I have a partner! Isn’t that amazing. I am not alone. A lie keeps repeating in my head that I have to cancel out so often and remind myself that I have a permanent partner in life that is never going to leave me or forsake me. We are in this together. God has tremendous plans for us.
1 Peter 5:10, “After Your Season of Suffering, God in all His grace will restore, confirm, strengthen and establish you”.
I am thinking about this “new” concept called HOPE. For some time I really lost that. I lost my hope, my love, my passion, my zest and zeal for life. Restoration sounded impossible. Then I kept going despite all the ill feelings I had. Despite all the work it was taking me to salvage up any life that may have been left. But God was right about one thing mainly (as He is always correct)… He wanted to remind me that I didn’t have to look anymore…that I didn’t have to search…that I didn’t have to try so hard but that it was truly a time for REST in my life! I just needed the right partner.
This rest that I speak of is not the kind that is absent of physical labor because I am certainly a busy person as a wife, mom, full-time worker and pastor…but rest [the refreshing quiet; in a different place. I am now brought to a place where I rest in HIS presence and knowing that He really does have my back. I never been so close with Him and understanding that He reminded me, “There are so many women back home waiting for YOU so what are YOU WAITING FOR!?! Redirect yourself! Refocus yourself! REVIVE! RENEW! RESTORE! REBUILD… I am there … I always have been.”
Today, I decided to finally accept an offer to go to the gym for a game of doubles racquetball. I used to always play but gave up this sport all together because it got so dangerous. I did not want to go because of the fear of being hit. That fear is just so present that all could feel it. I have a great partner that keeps going no matter what. He kept telling me, “take that fear out of your mind and just play your game.” Since it has been so long, I kept making so many mistakes too. I told him, “I am making too many mistakes!!!” He said, “There is NO too many mistakes!” I thought to myself these words are beyond powerful, he has no idea how much they are impacting my life right now. That is the same way with God. He is our best partner. He keeps encouraging us, helping us and reminding us to keep going. As humans we then remind Him of our mistakes when He is not doing that with us. He is reminding us of our future always not the past. He says the same things to us when we keep telling Him how many mistakes we make!!! He says, “My Grace is sufficient for thee [2 Corinthians 12:9].” His love covers a multitude of sins [Proverbs 10:12]. So I don’t have to keep reminding myself of mistakes but reminding myself of God’s love for me. These guys were so happy to have me there playing with them. Another said to me after I told him how bad that I did, “Give yourself credit for getting back on the court, that is not easy. Glad to see you still have that competitive spirit.” So I played being afraid until that feeling went away. Just need more getting used to all this again. Time will help. With my partner, we won!
This week has been such a blessing for me [bitter, sweet] to receive precious moments of encouragement. My spiritual mommy is here and says to me, “You look less stressed!” That a good friend can tell me, “You don’t need the counselor anymore –God is your counselor, go to Him!” That a good book can remind me to stop trying so hard and recognize how much God loves me despite all of my past- IT IS GONE! I have to move forward! There is a future He is waiting to release to me. Written by Suzanne Eller, “But in reality, the most powerful act we can do is to rest in what He’s already done for us. It’s a foundation upon which all other change can be built.”
I go to church and see so many smiley faces of sisters that have respect for me. Sisters that encourage me. Sisters that don’t talk about me but pray for me! Sisters that want the best for me. All of this just makes me smile. But most of all, that God is picking up the pieces of something that He always saw so precious… my family Cassandra Isabella Mendez. I wish I could tell you all that He is doing but just know that HE IS A RESTORER OF ALL THINGS! I have never been so thankful of my family of 4, my family of sisterhood and family in church at MUI. God loves me and loves you. Just do what I did…. I just said “YES Lord! Take it all…take my life…I am your vessel indeed.”
I have an amazing partner and I am not giving Him up for anything!