Dealing with anger issues? Short-fused? Quick to fly off the handle? Well we all have those moments. In traffic, a heated discussion with someone, being hurt by someone you care about or just when things don’t go your way. We experience a loss of control…and then blow up! It is done, the milk has spilled! This is something we need to bring under subjection. We have to move aside from anger because all that it does is cause us danger.
We experience anger in so many avenues. Anger with others, with ourselves and sometimes even with God! Can we even overcome this? Yes we can! There is a way to move aside from anger and reach a place of consistent peace. You just need to want it.
What is anger?
Anger is a strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong; wrath; it can be pain or grief; trouble; it is to arouse or cause wrath in. And there is a whole family of anger that comes close to that. Anger is an emotion that every single human will experience. Jesus walked on this earth and got angry. Even God gets angry. The problem lies when you can’t control it.
|THE FAMILY OF ANGER:|
|agitate||burn up||get mad||provoke|
|annoy||chafe||get on one’s nerves||raise hell|
|bitter||egg on||lose one’s temper||steam up|
|boil over||enrage||make sore||stir up|
If you fall into any of the above categories you will often experience much disappointment and negativity. Here are some negatives that result from anger:
- Lost opportunity and time for you and others
- Experience of significant pain and disappointment
- Experience of control issues
- Experience of poor/unhealthy/broken relationships
- Burned bridges, connections; you lose important people in your life
- Your crowd gets real small
- You offend a lot of people and become poor stewards
- People are uncomfortable around you
- You create an unhealthy environment
- You affect your health
- Lack of self-awareness, humility
- Stunts your spiritual growth
What does the Bible say about anger?
Ephesians 4:26, “Be angry, and do not sin” do not let the sun go down on your wrath”
Ephesians 4:31, “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.”
Colossians 3:8, “But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth.”
Matthew 21:12-13, “Then Jesus went into the temple of God and drove out all those who bought and sold in the temple, and overturned the tables of the money changers and the seats of those who sold doves. And He said to them, “It is written, ‘My house shall be called a house of prayer,’ but you have made it a ‘den of thieves.’
Ecclesiastes 7:9, NKJV “Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry, for anger rests in the bosom of fools.”
NIV, “Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.”
NLT, “Control your temper, for anger labels you a fool.”
Proverbs 15:1-2, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, but the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness.”
Proverbs 22:24, “Make no friendship with an angry man, And with a furious man do not go”
Psalm 4:4, “Be angry, and do not sin. Meditate within your heart on your bed, and be still. Selah”
You say, “oh well I can’t control it…” Yes you can – visit Galatians 5:22-23 on the fruit of the spirit as it closes the behavior patterns with Self-Control. Ephesians 4 & 5 also speak about the control and development of our character. You must pray and practice…practice and pray for this behavior, cultivate it! Don’t feed your anger! Or else it will grow.
What do you do to correct this?
- Consistent prayer –fasting –study of the bible will help you
- Learn to let things go, else it just festers and leads to further damage & negativity
- Repent and turn from this behavior pattern– do not repeat this behavior
- Apologize to those you offend by your anger; learn to fix issues, solve problems
- Seek professional assistance, counseling and mentoring
- Learn more – study this area out, areas of emotional intelligence and people skills
- You can’t use the approach of ISOLATION so you won’t blow up or “leave me if I am angry”, the bible says we wage against all wise judgment when we do this
What if someone is angry with me or treats me with this behavior?
Same concept as above.
- Let things go; Learn to FORGIVE – this covers a multitude of sins.
- Communicate! Let them know that they are offending or hurting you.
Remember that we overcome evil with good [Romans 12:21] and it is possible to overcome anger. I used to battle with this for years. I was angry at myself, I was angry at others and I even came to that point where I was angry at God. But He has helped me in this area. The Holy Spirit is our Helper. If we are filled with the Holy Spirit then we can produce holy conduct and character. It is possible. I thank God that I am not like before. I spend so many days angry. Then I came to a point where I was angry about getting angry. But that is good news. It means that you are growing and that you recognize the need for a change. Then you make the necessary steps and practice coming to a place of comfort.
If you are angry with yourself for things you did –forgive YOU!
If you are angry with someone else, just let it go. It really is not worth all the loss of time. Time is just to precious as it is flying by! We are in 2015!!! It is a time for forgiveness.
If you are angry at God, talk to Him! He would even have you come to Him with that reality rather than walk away from Him. He is a loving Father that is always there waiting with open arms. If things didn’t go your way, just let it all go and trust that all things will work together for good.
This is the time to move aside from anger and into a place of peace. If you are struggling with this area believe that God is on your side to give you the victory!