Category Archives: Forty

The Struggle Is Where You Learn

Dear Christina,
I met you at the conference in Charlottesville; I started reading your book the same day that you tossed it on my lap as you were speaking at the conference on Elizabeth in the Bible. I read it in two days. I wept, I stood up, I curled up with it in my bed, I lifted my voice to the Lord, I personally understand every word and gut wrenching sentiment of your book.  I have survived the unthinkable as well, even death at my door.  I found myself in every page.  Your words Christina, ring our mercy and strength.  I thank you for your book.  Love and prayers…

It is testimonies like this where I can feel that peaceful affirmation that when I sowed it–it was right! I love sowing my books–sowing the words that God gives me. Because every storm we face tells a story.  It paves the way for others. I am sure many of us would wish that we wouldn’t have to struggle. We want everything easy, quick and given to us with no real effort. That is the ideal.  But it doesn’t really happen that way.  In fact some people struggle even more than the average struggle.

I was speaking with my new beautiful boss and she tells me this….

“The struggle is where you learn!”

I said, “Wow! I am writing that down. That was a deep statement!”

Yet it is true! We all struggle and in those places of our struggle, He leads us through it so that we can grow through it. That is what I know and that is what I have learned on my own as well.  It is nothing that I could have learned had things been so easy for me. They never were!

At six –I had no dad at home.

At seven –we were already conformed to a life of poverty, struggle, government dependence and roaches.

At ten –I was already made fun of by every person in the school so I never could feel comfortable with who I was.

At fourteen –I was already introduced to the “hit & quit” over someone I just randomly met a night before.

At sixteen –I already ran away from home to return with a sexually transmitted disease.

At eighteen –I was already pregnant right after High School graduation.

In my twenties –I was still partying and getting high. I was still depressed and still hurting.

In my thirties –after somewhere meeting Jesus at the tail end of twenties, I would learn that Church was really not the “thing” that would keep my saved!

In my forties –I would learn that after much death, darkness and drama that I needed a serious encounter with the God of the Impossible in my life.  So I was Elizabeth too! I was the 88 year old that basically had no movement of life in me. Always left last and by the wayside and on the bottom end of life.

I kept going moment to moment, day to day, week to week and year to year only to discover that when you do that aimlessly you will always experience even MORE loss.

And all through that–what I do know now…… I got to say it…. WHAT I DO KNOW NOW! Is that God is my God! He is my King and He is my everything. He is my friend. He is the One who sustains me. He is the One that has kept me and He truly is the One that has been my Defender in every way possible –all through the impossible dark days and sleepless nights of my life.

There He would find me and there is where I would learn that only in the struggle would I have the deepest roots that I have ever had in Him. So I must say –just like the woman shared such a powerful testimony.  I now know that the words He has given me perhaps will make some want to stray more from me, but for the majority I know they are going to touch the world! ❤ I am at peace with that. The struggle is where I learned how to tell others about the greatest One of ALL!!!!


Jesus knew they had questions to ask of Him, so He approached them.
Jesus: Are you trying to figure out what I mean when I say you will see Me in a little while? I tell you the truth, a time is approaching when you will weep and mourn while the world is celebrating. You will grieve, but that grief will give birth to great joy. In the same way that a woman labors in great pain during childbirth only to forget the intensity of the pain when she holds her child, when I return, your labored grief will also change into a joy that cannot be stolen.
John 16:19-22

I have told you these things so that you will be whole and at peace. In this world, you will be plagued with times of trouble, but you need not fear; I have triumphed over this corrupt world order.
John 16:33

Purposeful Over Positional

God said to Moses, “Stretch out your hand over the sea and the waters will come back over the Egyptians, over their chariots, over their horsemen.”
Moses stretched his hand out over the sea: As the day broke and the Egyptians were running, the sea returned to its place as before. God dumped the Egyptians in the middle of the sea. The waters returned, drowning the chariots and riders of Pharaoh’s army that had chased after Israel into the sea. Not one of them survived.
But the Israelites walked right through the middle of the sea on dry ground, the waters forming a wall to the right and to the left. God delivered Israel that day from the oppression of the Egyptians. And Israel looked at the Egyptian dead, washed up on the shore of the sea, and realized the tremendous power that God brought against the Egyptians. The people were in reverent awe before God and trusted in God and his servant Moses.
Exodus 14:26-31

God said. Moses stretch. The Israelites walked.

God always speaks a word to us and when He does it requires us to stretch.  For when we do that, not only will things be formed for us but it gives us the ability to walk and allow others to walk through too. Such tremendous faith that it requires from us when God says to do something or gives us a word of what is to come for our future. Some things are more heavier then others and there is always a cost involved to get to the other side.

I been pondering on the life of Moses for some time now.  He gets to see the impossible –possible! What a great start to an emerging victory for the Israelites.  Problem is –that was just the beginning for them.  It took them so long to get to the position and location that God intended for them.  They fussed.  They fought.  They fumed.  They grew faith in some cases and other times they grew frustrated and fatigued!

Don’t we all.

How long does it take to get to the position and place that He has for us.

And so I had a dream last night.  In the dream, I was uplifting others. Inside there were tears falling that no one could see.  There were three instances where God wanted me to minister.  I saw people perplexed, troubled and depressed.  It looked like they were lost. Sometimes like how I feel. Never there yet but trying to be purposeful.  Trying to make the most of my situation when things go from bad to worst.

I encouraged a few in this dream…one by the way of an elevator, the other by some steps and another setting in an auditorium seating.  I said before waking up, “It is not where you are physically but where you are internally.  It is being purposeful over positional.”

Then I woke up…. The story of Jesus at the cross came to my mind.  The story of Moses came to my mind.  It was as if the spirit was preparing not a sermon for me but a sermon IN me.  I wrote it all down.  Because I know I am not there yet! And it frustrates me! It overwhelmes me! But one thing that I do know–is that God is hovering over me, even in my sleep to let me know that He has a purpose for me.

I was telling those people in the dream–“It is not about where you are physically but where you are internally!”

I was telling them–but God was using me to tell me too! I have to live out my purpose every day.  No matter how extensive or variegated my journey may be. If its 40 days, 40 months or I get to another 40 years–it is all about where I am internally so that I can use it to pull on my purpose.

More to come…. stay tuned. #lifeofmoses #themanydayjourney


Rebuilt: Beginning The Ending

img_9153Rebuilt: Beginning the Ending

Why Rebuilt? What’s it about?

Rebuilt is an inspirational piece comprised of 30 writings that help to build individuals back up.

There are three sections in the book.


If you are someone that has experienced a major life event that was traumatic, painful, of significant loss or suffering then this book is for you. If you are seeking a fresh start to life, this book will help walk you through day by day, as it includes 30 writings that focus on your new journey. Continue reading

Forty Rocks!



Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the ROCK. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it was founded on the ROCK. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.
~Matthew 7:24-27 Continue reading