January 19, 2019

We Journeyed

By Christina

We are always so focused on what we didn’t do, what we don’t have; what we did do… things that went wrong or went south! Things we lost or things now gone.

What about the things that went right? The things we have that are good? Not everything is bad or so full of regret.

I could have!

I should have!

I didn’t get to!

All those thoughts running mad!

What about the moments I had YEAH GOOD & BAD! At least I had them! I had moments maybe even others wish they had. I had them. I experienced them. I celebrated them. We journeyed together on the times God brought us together!

We had them! I remember when God connected us again in 2015! It was AWESOME!!! It was not wonderful news that brought us to connect again but we did. Since then we stayed connected. We enjoyed what we had left. I think this is a whole book how and why….TBH! I will keep writing it all down every chance I get.

All I could say now is “THANK YOU GOD” because we captured a whole lot in the remaining 4 years rather than catching nothing! I’d have another stupid argument over nothingness again if it meant that I could have another moment…. but I had plenty of those. I had SOMETHING TO HOLD ON TO! Something to remember. Something to cherish.

So many laughs, good times and great times. We had them. We walked. We talked. We ate together. We painted together. We shopped together. Played games together. We read together and shared passages together. We wrote together. We danced together! We heard amazing music, watched movies, traveled together. We journeyed together and I am so happy about that. And I’m gonna KNOW!

I’M GONNA KNOW!

I’M GONNA KNOW!

I’M GONNA KNOW!

THAT YOU KNEW HOW MUCH I LOVED YOU RIGHT BACK!!!!!

This is where God truly steps in every time. We had SO MANY moments that we shared together the list goes on. Now you are dancing with Him; because He wanted you the MOST and needed you to see that ASAP okay!

So we journeyed my love, now it’s time you journey with Him in everlasting bliss! ♥️ You are gazing at the most beautiful being of all. Everlasting Father and the Prince of Peace.

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

A message from Rachel Hollis–we journeyed!

2 Comments | posted in ROSE

January 17, 2019

When Things Move

By Christina

“The mountains may move, and the hills may shake, but my kindness will never depart from you. My promise of peace will never change,” says the LORD, who has compassion on you.”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭54:10‬ ‭GW‬‬

My heart hurts

My head hurts

My body hurts

It’s a pain so great

Sadness seeps in and its overwhelming

As each passing moment

These pains grow greater

I know He was preparing me

And even preparing her

He quickened us to connect again

So that we can enjoy the last few days

Memories of laughter

Memories of frustration

Memories unanswered

Memories in His Name

I stood shaking

And then faced this unexpected yet expected truth

Does that make any sense

I’m completely in shock

I was sitting there for hours crying inside

With no tears running down my face

Some would come to the surface

And continue to trickle down

Others were internal and deep

I couldn’t wait to get to the parking lot

And drive off in the deep reality of my pain now sitting in

That’s when the floodgates opened

I cried and I cried and I cried

It was a hit in my gut, my heart my soul

It hits everything

It changes everything AGAIN

She’s gone now

How could this be

I just wanted her to live

I wanted her to laugh

I wanted her to have some fun again

To really try and live again

And she did

Then she didn’t

My heart is so sad

It’s heavy

Like an elephant sitting on my chest pressing in

There is such a heaviness settling in

It’s pressure on my chest

The weight of this

You know what I’m learning in life

You don’t always need a period

When there are so many questions

And exclamations and commas

If any of that is even necessary

Life goes on

Here and then there

So when we get there

We will understand all the things we never understood

And He can put the final dot and exclamations to our sentences and questions

What do we do when things move

What do we do when things never go the way we expected

I thought we were gonna grow old together

Like I can’t even control time

This is my reality now

I can’t email you again

I can’t send a text message or answer one back in return

I can’t share things with you

I can’t talk to you again

I can’t shop with you or watch you eat lemon ricotta pancakes or home fries again

When I go to Starbucks and order our favorite drink, I will remember the last one that I had with you

When the best holidays come around and I think we can have a cup of tea again WE CAN’T

And it makes me so sad because the list of things was huge

All I know is no matter what was going on –when you were around, it lit up my world

Things have changed again

Moved again

The absence, the void

God fill it all

For now more than ever I got to hang on this word and know that it is all in His Hands

“My promise of peace will never change,” says the LORD!

Even in that… I am going to say

I SURE MISS YOU TOO just like I should have said on that very last text

Damn!!!!

1 Comment | posted in ROSE

January 9, 2019

Settle Down Now

By Christina

“Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life. Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.”
‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:6-9‬ ‭MSG‬‬

Settle down now! Settle the worries! Settle the anxious thoughts! Settle the silent rage! Settle the frustrations! Settle the fears! Settle the struggles both internal and external!

May this mind cancel the lies that try to rise up NOW! I am in perfect peace! I am wise! I am in victory! I am in the perfect plan of God!

I have a hope. I have a guide. Unshakable and enduring faith, strength and courage. God is with me always. He has worked out my whole life before me. My mind is calm. My body is rested. My heart is still.

I have good news. I have His word. It covers me. Uplifts me and stirs up my soul. It is my fuel and my lifeline. My raft and refuge. His word empowers me and causes me to rise above all adversity day by day.

I am rising higher because of HIM! He is giving me a reminder again and again!

“Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.”

SETTLE DOWN NOW! Everything is coming together for good. I have peace. I have the victory. Thank you Jesus.

AMEN

1 Comment | posted in Peace, Rest

January 6, 2019

ENOUGH

By Christina

Wow! Done! Day 5… first book of the year and what a POWERFUL one at that! @thesinglewoman … Mandy Hale; Thank you for sharing YOU with us… the uncut, fully flawed, unapologetic and authentic version of who God made you to be! It’s MORE than enough! It’s a walking testimony to the lives of everyone that has ever doubted themselves, questioned, felt like never ever enough. But this powerful message is a lifeline for us and a reminder that LOVE SHOWS UP… and let’s us know that we are enough. To us… that love is God! God shows up every time we fall into that slump to remind us… let it be, I got this. I am with you always even to the end of this age!!! #iamenough ♥️

How many times have I felt inadequate? Not capable? Not enough? Last? Lonely? Sad? Confused? Disappointed? Oh my God! He knows it all. And so I loved this woman’s story! I wrote down the most profound reminders.

Page 89!!!! Even tapped it again as I found it:

”And maybe, just maybe, our enoughness, our worth, has nothing whatsoever to do with who’s beside us and everything to do with what’s inside us.”

Page 87:

”When you lose yourself, you find yourself.”    ”I think I needed to lose myself for a little while, to wander, to wonder, in order to realize I will always, always be able to find myself again in the things that I love. In the things that I’ve always loved. The heart of who we are, who we were, way back when—it never really changes.”

Page 102-103:

”Because that’s what love does. It shows up, and it means you are right where you’re at. Love kneels and comforts and speaks softly of hope even when all hope seems lost.” “Because that’s what love does. It’s sacrifices. It misses out on sleep. It puts the other person ahead of its own comfort. LOVE SHOWS UP.”

Page 105-106:

”But you know what happens to girls who allow themselves to become life rafts? They sink themselves. They get dragged into whirling, swirling cesspools of drama and chaos and dysfunction. They start to mistake mirages for the real deal. They start to question why they seem to never be enough.”

”You are not a life raft, you are not a compass, you are not bread crumbs, you are not a flashlight, you are not a Band-Aid, and you are not a stop along the way as he attempts to ‘find himself.’ You are a destination. A whole, complete person who deserves another whole, complete person. You are wonderfully, beautifully enough.”

“But find your own way. Chart your own course. And never use another human being and their feelings and emotions as your GPS. Never look to another person to rescue you.”

And that’s the point! It’s a God thing! He is everything we are ever going to need. We are enough, just as He is to us. He made us that way!

E N O U G H ♥️

2 Comments | posted in Celebration, Emerging, Encouragement, I AM, Identity, Inspiration, Love, Loved Letters, Peace, Recovery, Relationships, Restoration, Transition, Trust