I’ve Decided

Now more than ever I am finding myself understanding the importance of being comfortable in my own skin.  I mean I am who I am.  I am who God created me to be. Me holding back –got a lot of people to dislike me –imagine AS A PRETENDER! A watered down version of me.  Now I am just gonna be me! That’s it. God made it. God created it. And that’s what I want.  I want the real me to surface and be who God created me to be.

I’m sitting across from an empty seat in Barnes and Nobles just thinking, “Does anyone even really know Me???”

The boring me. The peaceful me. The me that cant even function right if I am not reading!!! Like this IS ME! I loveeeeeeeeeeeeee books! I love to read. I love to write. I love the solitude and the quietness. I love the sound that it brings. I love the stillness. I don’t like to be that busybody person moving from place to place. From moment to moment.  That just really throws me off!

Did you know that about me? Like, if I’m not reading –I’m not right!!!

I’m just not.  I need a book in my hand.  I need a journal in my hand.  I need a pen… just like the psalmist declared:

My heart is overflowing with a good theme; I recite my composition concerning the King; My tongue is the pen of a ready writer.
Psalm 45:1

THIS.  IS.  ME.  I cant explain it any clearer than that and if you understand that we are going to be in the best place ever.  I need that in my life. I miss my reading buddy. Oh my God.  What a quiet soul she was.  I read she read. I wrote she wrote. I prayed she prayed.

Then she was gone. And I found myself sitting alone again.

Selah.

I miss that.  But I know that God is gonna lead me to the best next! I trust that so much over my life. I may not be across a stadium, in a field or on some grand pulpit! But here I am–right behind this screen, sharing some raw thoughts of mine that God had demanded from me in 2015.  I will never forget the day or the hour.  But it was on the ride to a retreat of a lifetime. He was asking me to be me.  He was asking for me to pull on my identity.  He was asking me to write it down…because silently He made me this one, that loves the quiet so much.  Now I know why.

I collect my thoughts.  I share them here and I know that it will pave the way for someone to be who and what God created them to be –relentlessly, freely and unapologetically.  It’s so much better this way.  I want nothing less than this.

I decided this is what I want…because this is who I am. Anything less than that is just going to always throw me off. I can’t fight it anymore. I can’t fight me. I have to embrace me.

I decided.
We read.
We write.
We focus.
We live beautifully.

Be free. Be you.

With Love,

Christina

Divine Differences

For You shaped me, inside and out.
You knitted me together in my mother’s womb long before I took my first breath.
I will offer You my grateful heart, for I am Your unique creation, filled with wonder and awe. You have approached even the smallest details with excellence;
Your works are wonderful;
I carry this knowledge deep within my soul.
You see all things; nothing about me was hidden from You
As I took shape in secret, carefully crafted in the heart of the earth before I was born from its womb. You see all things;
You saw me growing, changing in my mother’s womb;
Every detail of my life was already written in Your book;
You established the length of my life before I ever tasted the sweetness of it.
Psalm 139:13-16

God is so detailed with us.  He made us to perfection. We could never doubt that His work is proven and so carefully orchestrated for our lives. He knows it all, made it all and done it all.  Every detail, nothing hidden. He shaped us from the inside out. He saw the beginning from the end.  How wonderful that is to know.  God did that all for each person that has ever lived and for how long that they did.

Each unique. Each one special. Each one crafted. Each one lovely.

I looked at a set up that my daughter did this evening in my house while I was cooking and I thought of this.  I reflected on the creativity. I thought of our differences. They are divine. God makes us all different. She took all the pieces that I had set on the server just to switch out the runner for a rose gold match and when she put everything back –the SAME stuff –it was different. I must admit that it was even BETTER! I thought to myself, “How creative this girl is!” The way she put each piece. The wood fixtures, the candles, the picture frames –and very different from the way I had it previously displayed.

Everyone is creative like that.  Able to do something completely different from the next one.  We all bring something to the table.  A special touch.  The way that we arrange things.  The way that we exchange. The way we express. The way that we look, think, feel and act! We are all different.

There are no two people that are identical. Not even twins. There is something different about them. We can have so many things in common with our partners or the bestest of friends but still there will be something different. That is the way it is supposed to be. That is what makes our world so colorful. That is why it is always best to be who YOU are and who God created you to be.

You have something so authentic that you bring out in life and when you share it more, you can touch the world around you. Sometimes people end up hiding themselves all their lives because they are so uncomfortable with who they are. They don’t love themselves enough or even see how others love them. But if more people begin to understand and embrace their identify, the more colorful life will be. This also helps to encourage others to follow in their own footsteps.

There is enough darkness passing through this earth.  Now is the time that we need this uniqueness about ourselves to emerge. Now is the time that we need to be even that much more effective, influential and inspiring with our authentic variations of style and personality. Now is the time that we should shine the most in our individual expressions and divine differences.

It is not time to hide behind the scenes because of the hindrances and challenges that try to spoil our identify. We live loud. We live bold. We live with love. We live with acceptance and courage. You may not impact them all –but you will definitely impact someone and that is enough. That is why He made you just the way that you are and through each passing day, week, month and year –you become a better version of that divine creation. Dare to be different. Stand out from the batch humbly, gratefully and thankfully.

We are just passing in this journey to go from glory to glory.

As the Psalmist declared:
I will offer You my grateful heart, for I am Your unique creation, filled with wonder and awe. You have approached even the smallest details with excellence;
Your works are wonderful….